Final Essay

Taylor Wall

Dr. Preston

AP English Literature

8 June 2015

     Making Shadows: The Journey to Graduation

        When I began high school I really only cared about grades, something quantifiable that I could use to measure the value of my effort. As the years progressed that disappeared, as did the notion that learning and grades were inevitably intertwined. I found myself reading assigned books and doing complicated math problems with enjoyment. By senior year I started thinking about who I was as a person and how that applied to the kind of learning and career I wanted to pursue. I came to the conclusion that learning was something that would forever be connected to living, and whether it be serial killers or history that drives that passion for life, you have to make sure it never fades.

        Throughout the AP English Literature course there were times when I definitely took the system for granted, but I can definitely say that whatever assignments I did decide to do were done to the best of my ability. I thoroughly enjoyed reading Brave New World, Macbeth, and pretty much every book we studied, and the days when we would sit in class and analyze the characters, plot etc. were very rich and full of quality.  

        The books we read in class had a big impact on me this year because a lot of them were about the characters finding themselves, which is what I am still trying to do even as senior year draws to a close. I felt like I really connected with John from Brave New World because he realized that the world wasn't what it seemed to be, and that people and human nature could be influenced in horrible ways. Sometimes I feel that way about our current society because we are so influenced by technology and celebrities. I also really identified with Pip from Great Expectations because I've always had this idea in my head that I would become someone great, but as I've gotten older my definition of a great person has changed drastically. A great person isn't someone with loads of money and influence, or a person who inspires fear, or even a person who uses beauty and seduction to get what they want. A great person is so much more, and I really identified with Pip as he figured that out. Hamlet and the "To be or not to be..." speech was the assignment that made the most sense to me, especially because it was assigned while we were doing our personal statements and applications. He pondered life and death and everything in between, and though our struggles weren't as rigorous as his, we still had to draw a chalk outline of our future.

        My big project during this year was the psychology of American serial killers, and as I studied the different types of killers and their methods and backgrounds I felt like my passion only got stronger. Even though it's a creepy topic, it really stimulates my mind and I can do research on it for hours without feeling like I'm doing research. I think it's so interesting to me because it represents the darker side of human nature and what people are capable of. 

        Something that made me laugh about this course is when Henry did his presentation on censorship and said f**k like five or six times and talked about his smoking habits. 

        One unifying theme that was present in a lot of people's projects was going out in to nature or to the beach, and just spending time adventuring and having fun. I know someone did one about hiking, and Jordan did his about flow, and Victoria's was about going out and meeting people. The common theme was that we can't just sit by and experience life in a classroom, we have to get out there and do something unexpected. 

        I don't really feel like a hero. I think people put themselves and others up on pedestals. We are all just people. I didn't do anything amazing, but I did do something that meant a lot to myself. If my masterpiece was a call to adventure, then I definitely answered. I found a mentor in Peter Vronsky who is the author of an amazing book, and I learned more than I thought I ever would about my subject. I may do something with psychology in the future because it interests me so much, you never know. 

        In the end I think we all tried to make our little mark in the world at Righetti. Some succeeded more than others, and some just wanted to get out as quick as they came. I'm probably the latter, but I do feel like I made an impact on myself that helped me mature and grow. Once I began learning I never really stopped, and I don't think I ever will, especially if it's something I'm passionate about. 

Pic of the Day #17?

Robert Frost Essay

Young Goodman Brown Essay

TPCASST

Title: "Out, Out-" by Robert Frost is the title, and it means the escape from daily work that the boy wished for and the reprieve he got in the form of the saw.

Paraphrase:

"Then the boy saw all—


Since he was old enough to know, big boy


Doing a man’s work, though a child at heart—


He saw all spoiled."   In this quote the author is saying the boy knew that if they cut his hand off he wouldn't be able to work, and he understood that that meant he couldn't support a family etc.






Connotation: When Frost uses the words " snarled and rattled" to describe the saw it has a negative connotation because when you describe wild animals you use words like snarled, and rattled has a ghostly connotation related to death and fear.






Attitude: The author's attitude is sympathetic to the boy and mournful of his death, especially when he says, "Call it a day, I wish they might have said
To please the boy by giving him the half hour"






Shift: There is a shift at the end of the poem when Frost says, "No more to build on there. And they, since they Were not the one dead, turned to their affairs." It is a really quick shift that happens because the boy has died, and to keep with the theme of the poem Frost depicts them as dispassionate about his death. They too are stuck in their cycle of work just like the boy was, so they must continue on.



Title Revisited: I still think the title was the boy's hope to break out of the cycle of work and do something, anything else.




Theme: The theme of the poem is that sometimes people trap themselves in their lives and daily routines, and there's no emotion behind anything they do so they might as well already be dead. The boy died from being trapped in the cycle of work he didn't want to do, which was kind of ironic but made sense because doing the same things over and over again can kill you.

Tobermory

The last line of Tobermory was very clever in a way. German irregular verbs are different from regular verbs in that you have to change the whole word when you conjugate them, not just the ending. In the context of the story I think this last line is important to the theme because its saying that to fix a problem, like Tobermory gossiping about all the bad things they've said and done, you have to eliminate the problem. In this case the problem was the people and their bad behavior, not Tobermory calling it like he saw it. Tobermory's death only changed the ending it didn't change the whole word. That is why the tone of the author was very sardonic toward the end. While at the same time saying that you can't really teach an animal new tricks, he was also saying that the same thing goes for humans.

Brave New World

     Living in a consumer society I can't really help but think we are living in a Brave New World. This idea of subliminal projection Huxley talks about seems to plague every day life, maybe even influence it to the extent of controlling and manipulating it. From the time I wake up in the morning to the time I go to sleep I'm bombarded with trivial things like pop culture. Of course I buy in to it sometimes because that's what our society seems to care about most. It's in this way that I think we are being projected on. I don't see commercials about real world problems. I see commercials about celebrities and the hottest new brands and movies etc. These things appeal to our subconscious because they have nothing to do with reason and conscious decisions. They appeal to our wants and desires, and that's why it's easy for us to be controlled by them. I can like a song or a brand because I think it sounds good or looks good, but the message I am receiving about drugs or high society can be lasting. In this way they keep us dormant, and this makes us unaware about what is going on, like the soma they use in the book.
     Another point Huxley made about technology and mass communication being instruments of very effective, but potentially evil messages makes me think we are living in a world where that exists. I don't know anyone who doesn't have a television, computer, or phone. In this way people are receiving messages all day long. Some of it may be harmless, but messages can be sneaky and evil. Like the hypnopaedia in the book, messages are drilled in to our minds all the time. That's why fast food chains and big corporations develop jingles and slogans. They want us to associate the cool phrases and happy jingles with good food and a good time, not with heart problems and diabetes.
     Huxley talks a lot about politicians and communist nations. From the political aspect about candidates I can see where we might be going astray. Huxley said that candidates were merchandised, but I think it's gotten to the point where people in general are merchandised, kind of like in the book how people only cared about appearance and outward personality. There was no getting to know someone on a real basis, they only saw what the person wanted them to see. I think our pop culture and the brands and the fake nature of it all dehumanizes people. When you have the front cover of a magazine bashing on some celebrity because she gained 20 pounds you know you've got a problem.
   

Aldous Huxley

Aldous Huxley was a French teacher at Eton where he taught Eric Blair (later to become George Orwell) and he was apparently a horrible teacher.

(What's the Story) Morning Glory

I think Dickens wrote this book for all the people who have ever wanted more and dreamed of becoming something great. He wanted to examine the hardships of great expectations during a time when class structure reigned supreme. If you look at the quote on page 61 that begins, "That was a memorable day to me..." you can see that Dickens uses the symbolism of the chain links to explain how people feel bound to their fates, and also how people feel connected to other expectations. Miss Havisham uses Estella as a sort of temptation to Pip. She dangles Estella in front of Pip because she wants to taunt him with the life he can never have. Dickens also uses the moral conflicts within Pip to show how conflicted he is about what he wants to do and be. Does he want to be like the convict, or like Joe, or like Miss Havisham? Does he want to live with regrets, never have an exciting life, or be bitter about everything?

Pic of the Day #16

Lit Terms 2

• circumlocution
  
• classicism 
  
• cliche 
  
• climax
  
• colloquialism 
  
• comedy
  
• conflict
  
• connotation
  
• contrast 
  
• denotation
  
• denouement
  
  
  
• dialect 
  
• dialectics 
  
• dichotomy 
  
• diction
  
• didactic 
  
• dogmatic
  
• elegy
  
• epic
  
• epigram 
  

All That David Copperfield Kind of Crap

If by "all that David Copperfield kind of crap" Holden means all the unfortunate circumstances and happenings surrounding David Copperfield, then I guess he's a total hypocrite. That's Holden though, he sits from afar judging everyone without actually judging himself. He does it because he can't face his "inadequacies", and that is part of the reason why he gets kicked out of so many schools. He spends most of the story complaining about people and how they're all "phonies", and has this grand scenario where he will go away and live as a logger or something. The more I think about it Holden isn't very different from Pip. They both have a "tale of woe", and they both go through life trying to rid themselves of their inadequacies and reach this final destination that it turns out they don't really want anyway. Pip realizes the truth about the world, and Holden realizes that what he wanted all along was to be innocent again and not know the truth about "phonies". The difference between Pip and Holden is that even though they both have expectations about the world and people, Holden is miserably in the present with both feet stuck in reality while Pip still has his wild imagination.

Dickens style is really distinguished by his characters and their impossible situations, and the imagination that comes from that. Salinger tried to separate his characters from Dickens because he wanted them to be real characters that you would find in everyday life to parallel everything Holden hates about phonies. This made his novel seem more realistic and made Holden even more blunt and disillusioned.

AP Prep Post 1: Siddartha

1. A bildungsroman, or coming-of-age novel, recounts the psychological or moral development of its protagonist from youth to maturity, when this character recognizes his or her place in the world. Select a single pivotal moment in the psychological or moral development of the protagonist of a bildungsroman. Then write a well-organized essay that analyzes how that single moment shapes the meaning of the work as a whole.

http://media.collegeboard.com/digitalServices/pdf/ap/apcentral/ap13_frq_eng_lit.pdf

2. What are the conflicts in Siddhartha? What types of conflict (physical, moral, intellectual, or emotional) did you see in the novel?

3. What are some themes in the novel? How do they relate to the plot and characters?

http://classiclit.about.com/od/Siddhartha-H-Hesse/a/Siddhartha-Questions-For-Study-And-Discussion.htm

4. Why did Siddartha try to leave the teachings of the Samanas and Buddhists?

5. Describe Siddartha's feelings toward self-love and loving others.

http://www.csun.edu/~pjs44945/sidd.html


1. To answer this question I would need to know what prompted Siddartha to leave behind his old life and go against his parents.

2. Siddartha has many moral conflicts about giving up being a brahmin and emotional conflict over leaving his family. He also has intellectual conflict with himself about whether or not he's making the right decision

3. Some of the themes are those of self-realization and going after your dreams which relates to Siddartha going against his family and way of life. Another theme might be breaking tradition and starting on a new path.

4. I assume Siddartha wasn't happy and he finally realized that the Samanas wouldn't make him happy and he had to follow his heart. I don't know the exact reason why.

5. Siddartha feels like you need to love yourself so that you can find out who you really are and make the right choices. He also feels like loving people is important because maybe he thinks that loving others helps them love themselves.

Pic of the day #15

Intro to Poetry

1. The poem is "Alone" by Edgar Allan Poe. The significance of the title is that he feels alone and isolated from those around him.

2. The poem has a very somber tone.

3. My mood as I read it was sad and thoughtful and I was in awe.

4. The shift starts at "Then..." when he shifts from describing in what context he felt alone to describing the cloud that hung over his head because of it.

5. The theme of the poem is isolation and the effects of being different.

Poe vs. Frost

In the poem “Alone” by Edgar Allan Poe, the author talks about being different and feeling isolated from those around him. Although Robert Frost does feel a sense of isolation in his poem “Birches”, it isn’t isolation from society, it’s isolation from himself. Frost demonstrates this with his nostalgic tone and child-like imagery, while Poe achieves his feeling of isolation through his somber tone and moody diction.

In Poe’s poem he feels isolated and different from the people around him. This causes him to have a somber tone, which is seen when he says “From the same source I have not taken my sorrow.” When Poe says he doesn’t take his feelings from the same place as everyone else, it has a very dreary tone because it suggests that he has experienced unusual tragedies. In contrast Frost’s poem has a very heavy and nostalgic tone that is meant to stick with people, and get them thinking about childhood and life. Frost achieves this tone with this quote, “So was I once myself a swinger of birches. And so I dream of going back to be.” Frost is talking about childhood innocence and freedom, and how he wishes to have that again. He feels a certain isolation from a part of himself that isn’t naïve anymore. In this way Frost writes with a heavier, and more nostalgic tone that is very different from Poe’s dark and somber tone.

Frost talks of innocence and feeling isolated from himself, as compared to Poe who feels isolated from everyone else. Frost uses a lot of child-like imagery to accomplish this feeling of isolation, while Poe accomplishes it through his use of moody diction. “I should prefer to have some boy bend them as he went out and in to fetch the cows.” In this quote Frost is talking about swinging on birch trees and bending them. He is saying that he would rather a boy do it than the ice, which adds to his feeling of isolation from that childhood innocence. Frost is reflecting on a time in his life that he wants to relive again, “I’d like to get away from earth awhile and then come back to it and begin over.” The imagery of leaving earth and coming back is very innocent and child-like in essence, as is the boy swinging on the tree. These images add to Frost’s feeling of isolation from that time in his life that he wish he could go back to because he is seeing it through the eyes of a child. In “Alone” Poe uses a lot of moody diction, the title being one example. He uses words like “torrent” and “thunder” and “demon”, which add to his feeling of isolation from those around him. These words are very dark and withdrawn, which is exactly how Poe feels. They only enhance his feeling of isolation because they allude to inner torment. This separates Poe from other people, and makes his poem all the more moody and isolated.

Although Frost feels isolation from a time in his life he wishes he could go back to, Poe feels isolation from everything around him. Poe accomplishes his somber tone and moody diction with words that allude to his inner turmoil, while Frost accomplishes his nostalgic tone with wistful thoughts and explains his isolation through child-like imagery. “One could do worse than be a swinger of birches.”

Hamlet

“What is a man, If his chief good and market of his time Be but to sleep and feed? a beast, no more. Sure he that made us with such large discourse, Looking before and after, gave us not That capability and god-like reason To fust in us unused.” In this quote from Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”, Hamlet sees Fortinbras’s men fighting for a piece of land that isn’t worth fighting over. He realizes they are doing it for their honor, and through performative utterance it is made clear to him that he too needs to fight for his honor. This moment is central in understanding Shakespeare’s dauntless tone for the last act and his continuing theme of courage and action. Hamlet is finally confronted with the reality of his situation, and he has to make the choice to either be a coward or to be brave and take action.

                When Hamlet is making his speech about him being a coward because he won’t kill Claudius, even though Fortinbras’s men are willing to fight over something worthless, he reveals to himself that he has to be brave through performative utterance. “What is a man, If his chief good and market of his time Be but to sleep and feed?” In this quote Hamlet is saying that he can’t be considered a man if he doesn’t fight for his honor, and he just passes through life without taking action. “But greatly to find quarrel in a straw When honour's at the stake.” Hamlet is saying that there is always a fight to be had when honor is at stake, even if it is over something trivial. In both instances Hamlet reveals to himself through his words that he needs to fight for his honor and the honor of his family. He reveals to himself that he has more cause than Fortinbras’s men to kill Claudius and that he must take action. This speech causes Hamlet to agree to duel Laertes so that he may have a chance to kill the king, and his actions were revealed to him through his speech.

                When Hamlet realizes he needs to fight for his honor because he has seen Fortinbras’s men, Shakespeare’s dauntless tone for the final act is revealed. Hamlet is brave, and determined to fight for his honor after he is inspired by the soldiers. Shakespeare’s tone for this act and the one following it is very courageous, and it shows determination. “My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!” In this quote Hamlet is stating his determination to kill Claudius no matter what, which supports Shakespeare’s dauntless tone. “Sir, in my heart there was a kind of fighting, That would not let me sleep” Hamlet is saying that even in his heart he can feel his bravery and courage coming forth, and this sets a mood for determination and fulfillment. This also sets a mood of anticipation and courage within the audience because they have been waiting for Hamlet to take action against Claudius. The scene with Fortinbras and the letter Claudius sent to execute Hamlet have only strengthened the audience’s resolve against Claudius. In the last scene Hamlet takes the poisoned rapier and stabs Claudius with it, which proves that Shakespeare’s tone was truly determined and brave because Hamlet actually carried out his intents.

                The constant theme in “Hamlet” is whether or not to take action. Hamlet spends the whole play deciding whether or not to kill Claudius, and Claudius spends the whole play trying to figure out how to deal with Hamlet. “My thoughts be bloody, or be nothing worth!” In this quote Hamlet makes up his mind to kill Claudius, which follows the theme of deciding to take action. Hamlet finally realizes that he has more cause and will to take action than the soldiers, and that Claudius has threatened his honor so he must stop him. The quote, “To be or not to be,” also supports the theme of deciding whether or not to take action because Hamlet is trying to figure out who he is. He is trying to decide whether or not to kill Claudius, and the kind of man he wants to be. When Claudius sends the letter for Hamlet’s execution he makes his choice and takes action just as Hamlet does. Claudius also has a dilemma earlier in the play when he questions himself and his actions at the altar, which shows that he is in the same boat as Hamlet. The theme in the play is supported by Hamlet and Claudius because they are both trying to figure out how to take action and the kind of men they want to be.

                When Hamlet finally realizes his honor has been threatened, and that he is going to kill Claudius it is largely due to performative utterance. Hamlet gives a speech about men and honor, and it lights his inner fire which makes clear to him what he has to do. “What is a man, If his chief good and market of his time Be but to sleep and feed? a beast, no more. Sure he that made us with such large discourse, Looking before and after, gave us not That capability and god-like reason To fust in us unused.” Hamlet is talking about being a man and how he has to take action in this quote. That is the central theme in the story, not only with Hamlet but with Claudius as well. The theme of taking action sets up a dauntless tone that continues into the next act and helps Hamlet to kill Claudius. The speech Hamlet makes about taking action ties together performative utterance, tone, and theme with his strengthened resolve and brings about the fulfillment of his intents. 

Pic of the Day #14

Circles

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. In Shakespeare’s play entitled “Hamlet” the main character Hamlet spends most of the play contemplating whether or not he will avenge his father. He does this by investigating Claudius to see if he is guilty, even though he already acknowledged the fact that Claudius is guilty, by constantly putting on a show of madness for everyone in the court, and by speaking performative utterances. All of these actions display a level of insanity that transcends sociopathic, psychopathic, and schizophrenic behavior. Hamlet isn’t mad in the traditional sense; he is mad in his own sense. In each instance he is expecting, maybe even hoping, for a different result to alleviate him of the obligation he has to his father, but he gets none and the knowledge of what he has to do viciously cycles around in his head making him crazier and crazier.

One method to Hamlet’s madness is his investigation of Claudius. Hamlet doesn’t want Claudius to be guilty because then that would mean he would have to kill him. The fact that he learned of Claudius’s guilt from the ghost of his father gives evidence to the fact that he isn’t in his right mind, and maybe the apparition was a product of his knowledge of his father’s death. No one except Hamlet ever actually spoke to the ghost so maybe it was a form of his conscience appearing to him in a hallucination. The insanity of the whole thing is evident in the fact that he orchestrated the mouse trap even though he knew of Claudius’s guilt. He wanted the players to elicit some emotion from Claudius that disproved his theory so he wouldn’t have to take action. That’s why he was so moved by their outward performance. Again Claudius’s guilt was evident, and yet the distress of having to choose to take a human life unhinged Hamlet. Before the play he said, “Observe mine uncle: if his occulted guilt Do not itself unkennel in one speech, It is a damned ghost that we have seen, And my imaginations are as foul As Vulcan's stithy.” In this quote he is recognizing that the thoughts in his brain are foul and unwelcome adding even more to his hope that Claudius is innocent. This hope fuels his insanity as he expects a different result every time.

As the play progresses Hamlet puts on a show of madness to the whole court because he wants them to recognize his cry for help. He expects a different outcome every time he says something crazy because he wants the people around him to tell him he’s not crazy and that he doesn’t have to kill Claudius, but they can’t. His utterances aren’t taken lightly, and like De Boer said in his paper, “Polonius is vulnerable to Hamlet because of this mechanistic vision of human nature; madness, for him, is “madness”, and decent, sane behavior is as formalized and conventional as the various ceremonies of state that orbit around him.” The people around Hamlet are vulnerable to his performance because of their pre-existing ideas of madness, which constitute exactly the methods Hamlet uses to act out his madness. In his own way Hamlet is preserving his insanity by carrying out the same “experiment” and expecting people to realize that he’s stuck in a mad cycle. This might give evidence to the fact that Hamlet knows he’s insane and he doesn’t want to be sane, because sane people have to stick to convention. Hamlet uses his insanity to escape his situation and the constrictions society has put upon him. “This gives him the rhetorical space to explore various presentations of his own identity, and what better time for such exploration than within a performance of madness?” This quote supports the fact that Hamlet is using his madness to explore himself and show his true visage.

Hamlet explores his inner thoughts through speech, which contributes to Bloom’s theory of self-hearing which states that by listening to one’s own speech that person can discover things about themselves. Hamlet has many lines in the play which reveal to him the truth of himself and his situation, yet he doesn’t act on those revelations. This is because he continually reveals his thoughts with the intent of changing his own mind. He never succeeds in his venture because almost every time he ponders, he feeds his insanity and convinces himself that killing Claudius would be the right thing to do. It is a constant theme that Hamlet can’t translate his thoughts into actions. “Why, what an ass am I! This is most brave, That I, the son of a dear father murder'd, Prompted to my revenge by heaven and hell, Must, like a whore, unpack my heart with words, And fall a-cursing, like a very drab, A scullion!” In this quote Hamlet is bashing on himself because he can’t take action which only strengthens the argument that he knows Claudius is guilty and he should take action. The fact that he is prompted to these lamentations proves that he is insane because he is trying to spur himself into action, but he keeps getting the same result which is no action at all. He is stuck trying to convince himself not to kill Claudius, and trying to prompt himself to do the actual deed.

When people think of circuses and Rumpelstiltskin they associate those two symbols with insanity and the abnormal. The spinning of the carousel and the spinning wheel are just two examples of endless circles that people can get stuck in. They are never ending cycles that produce no new results. Hamlet’s circles are his speech, his investigation of Claudius, and his outward show of madness. Each time he presents his insanity he expects a different result, whether it be to convince himself not to kill Claudius or to get the people around him to notice his dilemma. This feeds his inner torture as he tries to break the cycle of avenging his father’s death and get his life back. 

The Performative Utterance in Hamlet

• ultimately hamlet seems to spend the play speaking but not doing
• his utterances betray little to no wavering in his understanding of his duty
• the divide between what is said and what is done is like Austin's theory of performativity
• certain language does not merely describe action, but acts in being spoken
• the locutionary force - the ability of language to deliver a message 
• the illocutionary force - what is done in being said
• perlocutionary force - what is achieved by being said
• Bloom argues that Shakespeare's characters develop through "self-overhearing"
• a man incapable of realizing the power of his own agency, but capable of using the spoken word, could come to learn of his agency by realizing that his speech has power to create change in the world
• the uncertain distance between what is sincere and what is not
• mimesis - a subtle kind of play acting like how Hamlet pretends to be crazy to throw everyone off